Lemme think of something impressive;

runaeveena:

ehehehelokid:

demonhuntingdetectiveintraining:

belowtherust:

brooklynlovesyouforlife:

i wish i could be a mermaid because then i’d have pretty hair and i wouldn’t have to shave my legs because no legs

lets not forget about no vagina, which means no periods 

and no sex, not that it matters, we don’t have it now either so what difference does it make

why cant we be mermaids 

but do they have wifi underwater

Priorities

(Source: ghostnotebusters, via theblackship)

wifelife:

Girls, when you’re feeling sad, just remember:

• a vagina can go back to it’s original size after taking something 20x its size
• a penis will end up looking like an empty potato sack that’s been run over quite a lot if it does

You can do this girl.

Be as resilient as your vagina.

Shine bright like a ‘gina

(Source: patbby, via totally-raised-eyebrows)

I wonder

if people would stalk my Facebook profile, tumblr and twitter page if I suddenly died

I probably would though - stalk other people’s; taking solace in the fragments they’ve left behind that, unlike our organic bodies, could never die.

Their photos, their status updates…all of which would provide a strange relief, knowing that those characters were typed by them, that those thoughts ran through their minds. Their undying evidence.

Because after a while memories become hazy and details blend into the background, but every pixel of their photo with you remains: untouched nor tampered; emotions captured forever locked within a frame. They may trigger waves of nostalgia, and if you find the corners of your mouth form into a smile, then it must have been a beautiful photo.

sabrinagrimm:

sabrinagrimm:

WHEN I WAS 4 I WAS ON SESAME STREET AND I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH GROVER AND HE ASKED ME HOW IT FELT WHEN I FALL OFF MY BIKE AND I CHUCKLED DARKLY AND SAID “I DON’T FALL OFF MY BIKE” AND HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA AND SAID “oh.” NAD THEN I SATRTED POINTING AND LAUGHIGN AT HIM AND THEN THEY CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE AND THAT WAS IT THAT IS MY LEGACY

(via dreary-laugh)

nishlo:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

and do the harlem shake

(via gigglingbean)

how to boys

foie:

• greet
• chat
• chat
• chat
• joke
• joke
• joke
• joke
• compliment appearance
• compliment personality
• flirt
• flirt
• flirt
• hug
• hug
• hug
• hug
• hug
• hug
• amorous hug
• amorous hug
• first kiss
• kiss
• kiss
• kiss
• make out
• make out
• make out
• make out
• woo-hoo
• woo-hoo
• woo-hoo
• propose

(via awesomephilia)